Friday, January 23, 2009
Every girl loves a bit of romance, right? I know that in life, we tend to remember the times when we have been romanced, by our significant other. My husband is amazing and loves me more than I know, but there is a romance that is deeper and more lovely than even his.
It is my rescuer's romancing me that has swept me away today. It has been awhile since I have been swept away by the beauty and simplicity of my saviour. Mainly because, I have not allowed myself to be vulnerable to him. Being vulnerable is not an easy way to be. I know it sounds weird, but in order to accept the true love that awaits you in your saviour and rescuer, you must be vulnerable, you must let go and you must trust. Those three things are very difficult for me to do. I have come to the point in my life where I do not want to be vulnerable because I might get taken advantage of or hurt by friends, co-workers, etc. I do not like to let go. It means I am not in control. Another character flaw that I possess. Letting go means, nothing more than, just that, letting go. completely. That tends to scare me. Lastly, you must trust. I have come to the point in my life where I trust very very very few people. I think I trusted people at face value so long, gave people the benefit of the doubt and thought everyone was just good that I learned that I got hurt way too easily, way too often. So, I don't trust many people. at all.
Tonight, I found myself driving to Canyon for the first time in about a month. Driving to Canyon generally is nothing special, but tonight I felt like I was being driven. I was along for the ride. My rescuer had come to save the day and restore some of the softness that has left me for some time now. He gently comes to me and reminds me of my worth, my beauty and his undying love for me. After months of fighting and struggling and feeling at a place where I was so hardened and so cold that I could not love people again, I felt a tender hand on my face, gazed into the savior's face and saw pure love. My best friend, my redeemer, my lover, my friend, my King, loving on me, the least of the least. No matter how many friends I see come and go, hard times come and go, and even good times that come and go, his constant, pure, unmatchable love is mine to experience, to soak up, to revel in, to enjoy, to delight in, to rely on, to mourn in, to grieve in and to also celebrate in, find joy in and worship in for the rest of time. He has ordered my steps, but he has shaped my heart. He created the heavens, but mended my torn edges. He is just and mighty, but he romances me with simple music, sun beams and a warm home on a cold night. He deserves more than I could ever give him, but he accepts my tiny, little offerings of praise when I'm all alone in the quiet. He has destroyed nations, and yet he wipes the tears from my cheeks and says, "my love, you're safe with me". What a beautiful place to be, in the arms of the Almighty. No other place on earth is as safe and yet majestic than his embrace. Oh how I long to remain here. Cozy and nestled within ultimate peace and delightful joy. It is worth waiting upon him. It is worth humbling myself to nothing. It is worth the fight and struggle we have with the enemy, for this moment of pure romance with the King of Kings. Don't give up on Him. Cry out for Him. He is mighty to save and gentle with his child. When you find yourself lost in his beauty and his delight, you realize your "problems" are but a tiny spec in the picture of his goodness. How lovely He is.